


Nothing is Normal

by Seagoatink



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fem!John - Freeform, Joan Egbert, Multi, i might need to add a trigger warning later on, there shall be pain and suffering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-09
Updated: 2013-08-15
Packaged: 2017-11-17 10:31:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/550602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seagoatink/pseuds/Seagoatink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joan Egbert just moved to Washington to start high school on a high note -and hopefully end it there too- as she leads her life as John and hits several speed bumps on the way, because high school is a bunch of bullshit and it's time to live it up, party, and date some, okay, a bunch, of people in a small amount of time. That's what high school's for right? Testing out the waters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This is the New Beginning

Your name is John Egbert. Okay, it isn't really, but it would have been. Your name is Joan Egbert and you aren't exactly the most normal high school girl out there. In fact, you didn't even want to be referred to as a girl. It was true, your father was thrilled to have a second daughter and your sister was excited to have a little sister. But genes didn't match what you felt. Your body parts didn't match your gender. You were John not Joan, and your father and sister were very loving and accepting of that fact.

The school, however, had its blind eyes watching you oh so intently. In some ways, it was fortunate. Teachers never even knew their students names, so you were able to introduce yourself as John Egbert rather than Joan Egbert on your first day at your new school when you moved. The girl next door, Jade Harley, was in a majority of your classes and knew you were biologically a girl. Since your sister moved off to college in a far away land, Jade had been there -all sisterly-like and whatnot. Your neighbor/sister had beautiful, green eyes; long, straight, black hair complete with bangs; big, circular glasses; and a cute over-bite that almost stuck out as far as yours. Anywho, she looked out for you and you looked out for her in an unspoken pact that the two of you had made upon meeting.

Her big brother was about Jane, your sister's, age. But he hadn't gone away for college, he was studying at home for a year or two. After that, he had hopes of studying abroad. His name was Jake, and he too had black hair, crazy green eyes, and an overbite almost as bad as yours. Unlike Jade, his glasses were square and fit his face much better. Jade and Jake's grandparents had nicknamed the college sophomore "Tarzan" because it sounded better than "Jungle Man" or anything else they could come up with. Whatever it was anyone wanted to call him, he was fairly masculine and outdoorsy, and he even had the dark olive skin tone to prove it.

Being Jake's little sister meant that Jade was on all the teacher's good sides, and by association to Jade you were a favorite student as well. Starting out at a new school at the beginning of junior year was possibly the best idea your family had for you yet, and you seriously loved them for it. By Thanksgiving, you had settled in perfectly and your dad's job was going off without a hitch. Your sister came back to visit, and -after a long while of begging- Jade even got to spend the night. Dad cooked up some Betty Crocker cakes -much to your disdain- and you all sat and watched Conair before heading of to your respective rooms. In all honesty, you were happy, if not intoxicated by how well everything was working out.

Then Jane went back to far-far away. Jake convinced you to put on a dress and some make-up and go out for dinner with the rest of his family. A couple of boys from school recognized your name being said.

When you returned to school from break, everything had gone downhill. You were no longer John Egbert, you were Joan Egbert. And just that name meant bad news for you. You hadn't told Harley yet, but you had disregarded your birth name for a reason. You had hoped you could outrun and forget your past by doing so, but that clearly wasn't going to work anymore. "Being called "Joan" isn't so bad, I guess," Jade tried to sympathize for you while in class. Deep down you just wanted to vomit at all the things people would more than likely try to pester you about now. Knowing you were really a girl made things dangerous for you. Public restrooms were now out of the question, you'd have to hold it till you got home. Wherever you went, you had to be on the look-out. The buddy system was be your friend. But most of all, you couldn't appear or act afraid.

"John- John are you listening to me? John? JOHN!" Jade whispered to you with a snap that your English teacher noticeably ignored - Thank god for being the teacher's pet. "John?"

"You wouldn't want to be called Jaden, would you?" You questioned your best friend skeptically as the bell rang. With a hefty sigh, you slung your bag over your shoulder, got out of your desk, and headed for the door with Jade at your side. "There are some things... I-" You were cut off when someone stepped in front of you, blocking your way to your locker. You thought this shit only happened in lame movies or ones where Nic Cage would come along and save someone or something like that.

There stood one of your-not-favorite, not-so-popular, not-so-friendly... Uh... Enemies? Okay, that was putting it a bit too harshly, you didn't have enemies, really, some people just weren't too fond of you for some reason. He was one of those people. "I bet you pretend to be a guy just so you can check out dicks in the bathrooms," he sneered down at you as you went to stand up. You weren't all that tall, and you especially weren't all that tall compared to Eridan, but at least it gave you more height than kneeling down at the foot of your locker.

You were supposed to get your Gushers from your locker as well as the rest of your food so you could enjoy your lunch and refill your energy level for the day. "I'd ask if you wanted to know who's dick is the biggest, but I already know you hide in the locker rooms and check it out for yourself." You retorted flatly, growing tired from lack of nutrients or fruit gushers.

Jade giggle snorted and hit her head on the inside of her locker door, letting a metal clanking ring through the nearly empty hallway. "That's not funny, Harley!" Eridan growled at your friend, advancing toward her.

Without thinking, you pushed back on his shoulder in a half-assed attempt to get avert his attention from Jade. After all, she was your best friend. "Leave her alone!" you shouted at him, pushing him back with more force now that his hand gripped tightly around Jade's forearm. "This doesn't involve her, Eridan! I said: leave her alone! Now, let go of her!" you yelled.

It worked, but now he was gripping at the collar of your shirt and lifting you off the ground. Everything was escalating far more quickly than you had ever imagined possible -and being a prankster, you imagined a lot of things that weren't quit possible. Maybe that's what this was: punishment for pranking unknowing people. Still, being picked off of the floor wasn't the most fun you've ever had, and when his other hand was placed at your throat, the amusement park still wouldn't start for you.

As the oxygen in your lungs was trapped there, Jade had taken out her water gun that she had painted black for Halloween and aimed it at the boy who had you hostage -at the exact moment the principle came into view down the hall.


	2. A Close Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy fuck I don't know if this is a short chapter. I've been on a break -as in out of town- for a while so I can't remember when I updated last. Is this too soon? I think it might be. Fuck.

Your name is Gamzee Makara and you sure as hell have seen some messed up motherfuckers in your life, but these new guys in the front office were off the charts. The classy chika with the long hair, glasses, and bright green eyes had brought a look alike pistol to school, even though it was really just a water gun it was still pretty messed up. The wannabe jock, Eridan, had been to the office plenty of times but you'd seen him before at some party on the so-called bad side of town, but he still gave you the heebi-jeebies every time he was near. The she-man, from the rumors, was just some bitch without a dick, and you were all chill with that and all, but it was still kind of... Weird, but your dad worked you hers/his? you didn't even know how to address him or was it her? Fuck that noise the pronouns were getting on your nerves.

You on the other hand, were here for a different ordeal. It was the norm, for you. Getting high in the bathroom, or in the stairwell where the cameras couldn't see you. Some motherfucking tattle-tale up and told on you, so as you were toking on some choice green a teacher got all up in your chill and tried to drag you down to the office by your ear. That's when you went to the bathroom to go take a piss and try to smoke up again, but the bitch was fucking waiting on you. Sure, the teacher was nice otherwise, but man, no one fucks with getting your chill on, cus that just ain't right. So there you were, in the office with this big bag of drama all taking up the seats and shit. You didn't really mind, though, because hey, less attention on you. Pops wouldn't care anyway, or at least he'd pretend not to care. He was always chill and mellow with you. After all, he figured it'd be legal by the time you got out of college and that was all that mattered. No one really cared about that shit anyway, save for the big corporations, and you weren't planning on going anywhere near the business Pops had gotten himself in.

The school nurse was checking on the she-dude, who turned out to be John Egbert or some shit, and her hot-babe of a friend to make sure that their injuries were minor even though John's seemed to be a bit worse than the other's damage. Eridan, on the other hand, just sat next to you as you waited to be talked to about lighting up in the bathroom again. You supposed it was only fair, after all those were the rules. But maybe, if all these bitches had been lighting up, they wouldn't have caused all this drama that should have been saved for the llama's mama and instead they would have all been chill and lax and shit. Maybe you'd tell Pops about all the shenanigans that went on with his coworker's kid. 

Secretly, you were actually pretty worried about him. He was pretty cute, granted he wasn't his hot-babe of a best friend, but still. You didn't really mind the whole wanting to be a guy thing either. After all, being a guy was pretty great, you could wake up in your boxers and get the mail and not be arrested for public indecency. (So long as your dick wasn't hanging out of your crotch pocket.)

 

You are Jake English, and you couldn't believe that your baby sister and her best friend were in trouble for fighting in school today. Not even five minutes after Jade had called you to pick her up Mr. Egbert called asking if you would pick up John as well. Without a doubt you agreed, he thanked you, and you headed off to their school. Why wouldn't you do him the favor? He had you over for dinner often enough, and let you stay the night a few times. (You didn't really need to stay the night, but you did like seeing Joan.) Yes, you liked seeing Joan. You didn't just like seeing Joan. You had a crush on her, though you weren't trying to hide it, she still hadn't seemed to notice. Maybe the gal was a bit more oblivious to those kind of feelings than most others.

You parked in the guest lot and wandered into the large school in attempt to find the main office, or whatever office the mischievous teens were waiting for you. When you finally ventured into the correct office, the receptionist asked that you wait to speak with the principle. Being polite, you nodded and went to sit down on the bench next to some kid in a giant, purple zip up hoodie that was far too big for him. His hair color was a lot like Joan's, almost strawberry blond, but there was too much red and brown in it to be considered blond. His eyes were... Bloodshot and such a dark brown they were almost black, you had actually almost thought they were entirely black until the light gleamed in his eyes and made them shine. His frame was lanky, only comparable to cooked noodles or an octopus's tentacles. You could almost see all the bones in his thin, piano-fingers, you could see his bony elbows, but his arms looked pretty muscular and toned for someone of his approximate weight. You assumed he was here because he had been getting high or something similar to it. It wasn't your business, and you weren't one to judge from looks, but his eyes pretty much said he fell asleep in class or smoked up a bathroom. You let the idea fall out of your ear and onto the floor so you could metaphorically stomp it away.

After a long wait in awkward silence that was growing into some sort of monster between everyone in the room, the principle, Mr. Pensworth, approached you, shook your hand, and lead you back to his office for a private conversation. "You know why the girls were pulled to the office, right?" The man asked as he sat down and straightened himself in his comfy looking chair while you sat down in an wooden office chair that wasn't all that fun or comfortable to sit in. You hoped that the taxes the school had your family pay was at least going towards student learning or meals or something worthwhile.

"Joan and my sister had a little skirmish with a boy and I'm here to pick them up. From what Jade told me, she pulled out her water gun that she had painted black for Halloween in attempt to make the other kid back off," you took a moment to pause in hopes of loosing your want to snort at the thought. "Is she getting suspended for this?" You asked the moment you realized that, had it been a real gun, she could have even been expelled and sent to the juvenile detention center.

The man with "seasoned" hair scowled at you with irritation, though you know he was laughing about the water gun earlier, because you could hear him chuckling about it in his office while you waited in the main office. "Are you her primary guardian?" The principle questioned, letting his annoyance show in his voice as he avoided the question. His brows furrowed together in the most unattractive way, one raised and he let out a sigh. His posture was the farthest from relaxed, and he was contouring his body in incredible ways. Yet, he still had the more accommodating chair to sit in. What a nit-wit. A selfish one too.

"Yes, our parents died when she was young," you admitted somberly, it was a fact you had grasped and come to terms with a long time ago. "We live with our grandparents for now, but she'll be off in no time, probably working somewhere where she'll fit in better. I'm not exactly the best person for her to be living with, but we really don't have a choice at the moment." For lasting effect, you flashed a small, sad smile at him and looked down at your shaky hands. Somehow, authortive people still made you skittish, jittery even. You figured you were nervous for Jade and her future if this all went South, but you hoped that wouldn't happen. After all, you were the reason things went South last time, and you didn't want to force her to go through troubles again.

To your relief, the man seemed to give in and caved with guilt. "It wasn't a real gun, so she won't be suspended. But I'd appreciate it if the two left school for the rest of the day and perhaps tomorrow as well... It'll be an excused absence," he announced after a quick decision and started jotting down something on a sticky note, probably a reminder for later in the year in case they went over their allowed days of absence.

"And the other kid?" You inquired.

Mr. Pensworth let out an exasperated sigh, "Eridan will be suspended for a few days. This isn't exactly a first occurrence for him. He knew what he was getting himself into."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't care if "Joan" is too common for the genderbend. It fits the 4 digit name requirement, and only has one letter changed. I'm not being a bitch, had you written this and received a comment complaining, you wouldn't give two fucks for the complaint either. It's posted, you'll live. That or you can stop reading.
> 
> I appreciate the comments otherwise. Also, John/Gamzee will happen before Dave/John. Jake/John will be very, very short-lived. So I hope you don't expect much there. Thanks for reading!


	3. Mac It Up

Your name is Jade Harley, and you've just had one heck of a day with your best friend, John. Jake had just picked the two of you up and now the three of you were piling into his truck. John got in before you and you followed him in then slammed the door shut. Both of you buckled up, though it was a bit crammed, there was enough space for three in the front row. Your brother fought back grinning at himself as he leaped into the driver's seat and started up the vehicle. "You have a pretty wicked knot on the back of your head," he said to John.

Your friend squirmed a little and fiddled with his hands. "Uh, yeah... I hit my head on the locker..." he muttered nervously and fiddled with his buckle.

"We should probably go to the hospital and get it checked out," you suggested helpfully and grinned at the two to your left.

"No, it's alright, Jade, I'm sure I'm fine," John said with a sigh as he curled up in the middle seat with his knees to his chest. A puff of air left his mouth and made his brown hair fly from his face for a moment. "I've had worse, it's nothing," he grumbled and closed his eyes probably planning on getting some rest. 

John was quiet for the rest of the ride home, which bothered you quite a bit, because John talked to you all the time even when Jake was around. This wasn't how he normally acted. This was scaring you. This wasn't right. This wasn't what John was like. Ever. It scared you, because he was your friend and you didn't understand. For once you, Jade Harley, couldn't see a bright side to this... Well you could, but still. This wasn't your John. And yeah, it scared you. However Jake gave you a reassuring look that said he'd take care of it and that you shouldn't worry. So you tried not to think about it too hard. Maybe you would even talk to Mr. Egbert about it later or something. There was a reassuring thought: figuring things out and being able to help. Being thoughtful, and remembering that you and John hadn't eaten lunch yet, Jake stopped by a sandwich shop and bought the three of you lunch. Once you got home, he parked in the garage as per usual and you filed out of the truck, but instead of heading into your house with you, Jake walked with John into his house. Shrugging it off, you headed inside to talk to your grandparents and tell them what went on and why Jake had to pick you up before school was out.

-

Your name is Jake English and you are attempting to make Joan feel better. Only a couple minutes ago you followed the teen into her house and started putting her school things away for her in attempt to help. Once she noticed what you were doing, she quickly shooed you away from her things and turned on the TV. "Stop trying to act like my dad, I just want to watch a movie or something," she grumbled then started rambling on about other things as she scurried off to the kitchen. "Go. Sit." Who knew what she was up to, but you wanted to get down to the point tonight.

After a few minutes she returned with a bag of chips and hopped onto the couch. When she noticed that you hadn't joined her, she hurried over to you, grabbed your arm and eagerly brought you to sit down with her on the couch. Ugly sweater season was coming upon Washington, but ugly afghan season had already hit Joan's house head on. A particularly ugly one was thrown over the both of you before Joan started fiddling with the remote control. She pulled up the TV guide and started surfing the channels, seeing if there were any good shows on. You were thrilled to see that The Fifth Element was on, Joan saw this and let it play even though you knew she usually fell asleep when it played. It was really nice of her really, then again, she was probably taught to take the guest's interest into consideration first.

The movie wasn't too far in, so you decided to get comfortable as you usually did at her house, but this time was different. Jade wasn't there. There was no giant cock block and if you wanted to you would be free to snuggle up to John. You could wrap yourself around her -erm... him. Your mind had a long and ongoing battle with that. While you did consider yourself bisexual, you still had trouble seeing John as John and not Joan. However, you loved seeing the want-to-be boy in a dress, but you weren't very fond of the end result -bullying. You hated to see the poor bloke hurt, especially from someone else's hand. You leaned against the arm of the sofa and sighed softly. "Sorry..." you muttered to John, knowing she would hear you.

He knew what you meant too, you could tell because he seemed a bit troubled. "I'd tell you not to apologize and that it's not your fault, but it is," she grumbled back before grabbing a handful of chips and scarfing them down in quite the unattractive manner. You didn't really take much notice let alone mind "But I can't be mad at you for it," he added after swallowing his food, which made the weight on your heart ease up if only slightly. "It's not like you knew this would happen." Then he looked over to you as if to say, "but if you did, get the fuck out and die." And you knew that you really didn't want to cross paths with an angry Joan. Ever. A woman's fury was not to be fucked with. Not at all. Not in the least. One should never question an angry woman, that's what living with Jade had taught you very early on.

You put your hands up in mock surrender saying, "I didn't know! I swear! I hate seeing you hurt, really!" Even though the movie was playing, you were still entirely focused on John. All of this was your fault, even though you hated to admit it, you knew it was all your doing. The beginning of the drama could all be traced back to you. And, frankly speaking, you hated it. It gave you a terrible gut feeling, near the point of illness. Really, really fucking terrible. "I feel awful, because it's my fault all this happened. I asked you to dress up as a girl and go out..." your voice faded out as you twiddled your thumbs nervously. You wanted so horribly to say it was your first date with Joan, even though you weren't dating her at the time. Hell, you weren't even dating her. Yet. You were sure it would happen sometime. Hopefully soon. Tonight if you were lucky. You hoped you were lucky -in more than one sense as well.

John stuck a thumb in his mouth and puffed a sigh from his nose, making his auburn hair go fluttering from his face again. For a moment your mouth blubbered silently. You never suspected the blue eyed wonder to be a thumb-sucker even though you had spent the night with him and Jade so many times. So many thoughts ran through your head, but the moment John leaned into you and closed his eyes you knew you couldn't say anything. Your arms acted on their own, the rest of your body did the same. You pulled John into your lap, your legs making a nice hollow nest for him to sit in. Your arms embraced him as you leaned back into the sofa and allowed for John to use you as his own giant pillow. It felt nice being like that with the blue-eyed beauty. As the two of you settled in a bit more comfortably, you let an arm wrap around her middle, your hand resting on her rib cage. Her layers of clothing had lifted a bit, exposing soft, sensitive skin which you carefully grazed with the pads of your fingers. Your other hand hovered at her hip, the bone was very prominent (which was slightly concerning, but you decided to let it slide by for tonight) your fingers hardly touched her skin, probably tickling slightly, a sensation that you thought might drive a lady crazy. Perhaps it did, but Joan was still shifting so you couldn't quite tell. Her legs dangled down the couch over the cushions, bending over your lower one which was resting on the couch as well and circling around her body. Your other leg was bent at about a sixty degree angle, and hooked one of her legs, slipping closer to her groin as the two of you shifted. You hoped it would stay unnoticed.

Joan on the other hand looked rather cozy, as if she hadn't even noticed the small things you were doing. That or she didn't mind. In fact, he seemed absolutely content. John was on her side, between your legs. Twisting slightly, but not uncomfortably, at the waist, she rested part of her torso on your lower torso and waist. His hip was about at your groin, but he was probably distributing his weight carefully as to not damage your lower bits. His arms were bent, one hand met at his face so he could suck his thumb, and the other met the back of his head so he could twirl what little hair he had. It was cute, seeing him like that. Thumb in his mouth, long lashes hovering over his round cheeks, glasses about to fall off his face. "Are you tired, Egbert?" You wondered softly as you lifted a hand from his hip and let it breeze through his soft as silk hair. 

A breathy sigh left his nostrils and you felt him nod against your chest. "Yeah," he responded, thumb still in his mouth. "I'll be back in a minute, I need to change." When he came back, he wasn't wearing his binder. Noticing this you tried not to think too hard about his usage of a bra. He was in long shorts and an over-sized t-shirt, plus he had a giant sweater in his arms. You assumed the sweater was from one of Jane's old friends or ex-boyfriends or something. His bare feet made a pattering sound over the hardwood flooring in the hallway, then the laminate flooring in the kitchen, and finally over the rug in the living room. Then John flew over the back of the sofa and onto the cushions right next to you. Quickly, and clearly feeling a bit self conscious the boy covered himself up with the afghan again and nestled himself into your side once more. You allowed yourself to get a bit closer as the two of you repositioned again. The attempt to get into the same form the two of you had been in before had failed, mostly because you wanted to be closer.

You wanted to hold her close and tight. You wanted to play with her hair, feel her skin, get closer than close. You wanted Joan and you sure as Hell were trying not to get a hard-on from your many less-than-innocent thoughts right now. You shifted a little, trying to help out your situation. One of your legs tangled with hers. Your other knee bent between her legs. A hand that had formerly been on her hip snuck its way down ever so slowly. In the midst of it all, you really hoped you were being a sly dog about this. Heaven forbid she didn't want to be intimate with you. You'd really be up Shit Creek and without a paddle then. For a moment she removed her thumb from her mouth, her eyes were still closed as as she muttered, "Where are you trying to go with this, Jake?"

Then she lifted her head and opened her eyes, watching you with a dazed look. You fumbled for words. Your mouth moved, the cavern empty of sound. Her arm drooped to your side and managed to find your spine with her hand. She gently skimmed her finger along the line of bone and leaned closer to you. Maybe it was in a sleepy haze for her, but you really hoped she was attempting to hit on you. You wanted to say something along the lines of, "I think you know what I'm trying to do," but you knew she'd only get angry about your being evasive -at least you assumed so, because that's how Jade was when you didn't tell her things directly. "In all honesty, I'm trying to hit on you," you admitted, not a hint of confidence in your voice. The very tone you used made you sound like you were questioning your own actions. Silently, you hoped Joan wouldn't notice or care or act like she noticed or cared. "I fancy you," you clarified, not sure what else to do in your situation. 

She wet her lips, and you couldn't remember if they were actually dry or not. All you know is after that she bit her lower lip and watched you with half closed eyes. "You fancy me?" Joan asked and you couldn't tell if she was sleep induced or not. You didn't even know if you wanted her to be sleep induced.

You went to talk again, still a bit unsure of yourself. "Y-yes... And, if you don't mind, I'd like to steal a-" You couldn't finish, because her lips were on yours and she straddled your hips with her knees close to your frame keeping you in place. Teeth meet teeth as she opened her mouth and you pull her down by the neck rather quickly. Her hips slowly rocked backward and forward as she nipped and nibbled at your lips between kisses, making you sure that you're lips would be red and swollen by the end of this whole event. Her teeth took your tongue into her mouth and she lightly sucked, which was a slightly exotic feeling that you couldn't quite describe, but you wouldn't say you didn't like it. Soon, Joan shifted a little, resting her hips at your groin then she began pulsing over you in a very pleasing way. Somehow she knew just where to put pressure down and at the right moments and swings in her clever little hips that were oh-so enticing. You let a hand slide down to the edge of her boy shorts and hooked a thumb in, feeling the bone of her hip with your fingers and cupping her form in your hand. You pulled her down a bit harder, bringing her hips lower into your groin as you lift your own needy hips to collide with hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dick-rider-dirk-strider on tumblr helped me out at the end bit. Of course, as a thank you, I wrote her an explicit version. For the record the explicit version didn't actually happen. I'm working on later chapters now so this material should get to January or February. Thanks to those of you who have commented or left Kudos or even just read this bullshit that I type out. Happy Holidays lovelies. I might post a bonus chapter for my birthday. Umm... I have finals this week, so if I update again this month it will be closer to New Years. Good luck to those of you on finals, and if you have already taken them, congrats!


	4. Post Bullshit-Drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can honestly say, "I don't remember what happens in this chapter." Really, I just wasted forever trying to do shit that didn't work.

Your name is John Egbert. You just woke up as your dad came through the door. He hung up his jacket and put his keys on the counter with the mail. "Did Jake pick you up like I asked?" He questioned after the two of you shared hellos. You nodded and scampered over to the kitchen to greet him with a proper hug and kiss on the cheek. "That's good to hear," he replied to your nod of response. "Did you ever get to your lunch?"

"No, Jake bought sandwiches on the way home for all of us, then he came over and we watched the Fifth Element," you answered as you shuffled through the fridge for an idea of what to have for dinner. "Could we have casserole tonight?" You ask him as you glance at him from within the fridge.

The man nodded and you grinned in thanks. "That's quite the knot you have, son," your dad said as he looked you over, "did you get it checked out?" He asked. You nodded ad he smiled at you. "I'm proud of you, John, don't ever forget that."

"I know. Thanks, Dad," you say and hug him again.

He hugged you back and held you close, which made you feel about ten times better. "Will you do me a favor and ice that bump while I make dinner?" He asked.

Again you nodded. Then you check the freezer for an ice pack and grab a washcloth to put it in. "Did anything happen at work?" You ask him idly, trying not to think about that nice make-out session you had with Jake before you promptly fell asleep with Fifth Element still rolling in the background. You probably wouldn't tell Dad about that. However, you might tell Jade.

"Nothing more than the usual," he answered. You couldn't say you were surprised. While you had thought your dad to be a clown when you were younger, he only had a simple office job where he sometimes got a raise and had only once been promoted. "I think Jake had told me he saw Makara's boy in the office again, was he smoking?"

Gamzee's dad worked with your dad, but was a lot higher up, a lot busier, and had a much higher pay. Somehow, Gamzee never really seemed to care. Dad wanted you to try and socialize with him a bit more. You could, you had plenty of chances, plus he went to your school. Most of your classes that you had were with Gamzee, he even sat behind you or beside you most of the time. It was odd, and he asked for paper a lot, but the other kid wasn't much of a bother. "Yeah, I think so. The principle treats it like nothing now. Gamzee says his dad doesn't act like he cares when he talks to the principle, but he really does care. He just doesn't want the school getting in the middle of something he's trying to work out," you explained and watched as your dad nodded every now and again while he put on his apron and started working on dinner. 

Dad wore a smile for a while longer. He really liked to listen to how you saw things. You noticed he liked to hear your opinion in general. Maybe he just liked listening to your voice. Or he liked seeing how you were from day to day. You didn't really know, but it still felt nice. "At least his kid knows he cares, that's what really matters," Dad finally said.

Your phone buzzed on the island where you were resting your arms. The screen said it was from Jade. You wished it was from Jake. Half-heartedly you opened the device and checked the message. Jake told her, but she didn't saying anything. Well, she was saying something, she just wasn't saying she knew. She sort of was saying she knew though. The whole trick of "What's going on?" and expecting you don't know anything about what she's talking about so you might possibly let the news slip to her. Quickly you made a sloppy message back that you and Jake were snogging on your couch before you passed out oh so attractive-like. Her reply was received not long after, saying that Jake told her too and yatta yatta yatta. Dad turned to raise a curious brow in your direction. "It's Jade," you said, waving it off and returning your attention to your phone. "She wants to know if I'm grounded or not," you added, knowing she was going to ask sooner or later.

"What did you say to that?" Dad asked in return.

"It all depends on my grades, which I believe are no lower than B's." He eyed you a little longer, trying to extract more information about your conversation with Jade. Dad had met Jade. It didn't take more than five minutes to recognize that Jade was talkative, scatterbrained, and gave a lot more information that just asking if you were grounded. "She thinks Jake has a crush on me." Dad continued to eye you. "OK! She knows he has a crush on me. Better?"

He chuckled a little and washed off the casserole dish then nodded. "Much," he replied simply and went back to preparing your meal. "I'm certain he does, but he's in college. Jake's Janey's age, remember?" You nodded even though you knew he wouldn't see it. Dad continued, "She might even like him, too, but I'm not quite sure about that." 

Suddenly you felt like a complete ass. Jane was a great big sister. She was always proud of you. Even her friends would come over wanting to meet you, thinking you were absolutely wonderful and adorable and sweet. Teachers loved you because of her, because she put her two cents in to say that you were the sweetest little thing to have ever existed. Yet, here you were, swapping spit with a boy she might possibly like. Okay, who were you kidding, it felt great. Knowing someone other than just Jade or a family member liked having you around and more than just friend or family. It felt nice to be that close to someone for once in your life. It felt even better knowing that that someone was someone who was actually interested in you in a red sense. She was out to college and you were stuck here, in Washington, with no one knowing you or your sister at first. But you made a name for yourself, which you didn't really know what it was now, but at the beginning it was good. You thought it was good anyway. "I never really noticed," you finally admitted.

Dad chuckled again as he stirred up the ingredients for casserole and poured it into the dish. "You were a bit busy working on school, it's alright," he assured you. When he put the food into the oven to cook he went to sit at the island with you. "And now there's all this -the kids seeing you in a dress. I understand you wanted to show Jade and Jake that you can be a girl when you want, and it's fine. It's your body and I respect that. But I hope that Jade and her toy gun was enough to scare anyone else away from picking on you." He got up to get himself a glass of water then sat back down next to you.

Jade messaged you again, but you ignored it. She knew it was almost time for dinner and would hopefully understand that you needed some time with your dad. "If the gun didn't scare them enough, I could just tell them she was raised by her dog too." Dad let out a hearty laugh and you smiled seeing the crow's feet on his face again.

-

Your name is Jade Harley and your are getting tired of this shit. Not only has your brother come home from your best friend's house after picking both of you up from school, but now he won't stop talking about how "in love with her" he is. "First off, Jake, John isn't a girl!" You yelled at him, throwing your hands into the air and flailing about uselessly. "John hates being a girl! Could you at least respect that?" You took a quick minute to grab a pillow and scream into it. Grandma and Grandpa might have a fit if they heard you, well, they wouldn't really. The situation would just be impossible to explain. 

"I thought you were just going to stay away from him. Seriously, Jake! John is my best friend. Why did you have to do that?" You interrogated him. Biting down on your lower lip, you glared at him from behind your wire framed glasses. "This is so.... So PRESCHOOL of you!" You shouted throwing the pillow at him as you did so. You didn't care that you were acting childish. John was your first, really close, real best friend. John wasn't just around because of your brother, or all the cool things you had at home, or because his dad said he should make friends with you. John wanted to be your friend all on his own. You were thrilled! But nothing is fine and dandy for forever apparently. Jake just had to rear his ugly face... Or not so ugly... You grimaced at the thought. Why did he have to win at the genetic lottery? Why did he have to attracted all the young ladies your age since the beginning of your social life?

"Calm down, Jade, it's not a big deal-"

"Not a big deal?" You shrieked and began pacing back and forth in the hallway between your room and the bathroom where your brother was standing. "John's been the only one who didn't become my friend just to get close to you!" You shouted at him, completely furious. By now, you had Bec's attention. He was begging at your side for you to calm down and pet him. Your face was getting wet from tearing up. You weren't an emotional wreck, you just couldn't help it! Whenever you were frustrated your eyes would water like crazy and there was nothing you could do to stop it. "I just wish I could have one person who you didn't take away from me!" You screamed then ducked into your room and slammed the door, quickly locking it with Bec by your side. Your fingers knit into his thick, pure white fur as you pulled your face into his body and tried to stop sobbing.

-

Your name is Jake English and you have never seen your little sister this upset. Even after your parents died, she had never been this angry with you. At least, Jade never showed it. She insisted on keeping your parents' last name after your grandparents adopted the two of you because she wanted nothing to do with you for the longest time. It was barely three years ago when you were able to get her to start talking to you again. Now you don't know what to do. Jade was probably crying into Bec's warm, furry belly and debating on what to say to Joa- John.

Before you even knew what was going on, Grandma was backing you up to your room. You heard Grandpa lightly wrapping on Jade's door, softly asking if he could come in. Grandma closed your door behind the two of your and raised an eyebrow, not an accusing one, but it was still intimidating. "Would you mind telling me what's going on, because I'm completely lost, Jakey," she said quietly, not wanting to raise her voice after 10 PM. Her voice was warm and welcoming as ever, but you could still hear the worry there, the hurt of hearing Jade cry again.

"I... I..." You tried to explain, tried to think of what was going on. "I'm an idiot, Grandma, I'm completely and utterly stupid." For a while you just rambled about how stupid you were and how you hadn't changed since your parents' accident. After a long while of crying and hysteria and unintelligible speech you finally got into telling her what was going on. You told her what had happened, but not in full detail of course, she could only handle so much, and it was only respectable to tell so much. "I just don't know what to do..." You finally muttered as you slumped your shoulders and let your head hang into your hands. 

Your grandma didn't know what to say either, you could tell because all she did was sit next to you quietly. But she didn't have to, because John sent you a bunch of messages on pesterchum.

[EB] i can't do this

[EB] i can't hurt Jade

[EB] i know exactly how she feels

[EB] being the younger kid sucks so fucking much

[EB] i'm the same fucking way when Jane steals my friends

[EB] it's not fair to Jade

That made your job so much easier. You messaged back with what was happening. You told John you were quite a bit embarrassed. You should have thought it all through. You should have seen. But John just replied saying it was OK, and that he had fun hanging out with you. He added that he didn't think it would have worked anyway. You were fine with all of that. But this was enough drama for the day, aside from John and Jade getting pulled to the principle's office. You decide it was time to konk out. With that, you texted John G'night :)" and went to snooze after you reassured Grandma that everything was OK and you would be fine.

-

Your name is Jade Harley and you just started feeling better. Grandpa helped you clean up your face and filled up the bathtub for you. He insisted you keep the door unlocked while you bathed though, because he was worried of course. He had no reason not to be worried either, last time you were like this you actually stopped breathing. As you waited for the water to fill up, you sat with your back against the wall, your grandpa at your feet making sure the water stayed the right temperature, and Bec lay with his torso over your outstretched legs. Your phone was in your lap in case John wanted to talk again. The two of you had a rather short, but long, phone call. It was short in length, but covered all the bases, and no that wasn't meant to sound dirty. John immediately understood why you were upset that he had gone off smooching with your brother, but wanted to keep talking to you to make sure you were really OK. Speaking of your brother, you really didn't want to talk to Jake for a while.

Your phone buzzed and you picked it up in a jiffy. It was Karkat. He asked if you wanted to go to a party at his best friends house with him. He also said his friend, Roxy would be there. Roxy and Karkat were in the marching band for a neighboring school and you had met them when your school faced theirs. Roxy played the flute, like you, and was actually really good looking. Karkat was a loud-mouthed, opinionated, crab, but he had the silliest names to call people and they continued to get more creative. Both of them had red hair, but Roxy's was pale and shimmering while Karkat's was dark and tangled. "Roxy and Karkat want me to go with them to Gamzee's party this weekend," you announced to your Grandpa as you stared at your phone.

"Did you want to go?" Your grandpa asked.

For a while you're quiet as you think about it. You might, but it all depended on how the week went and how you felt after doing homework. Your phone went off again. "Karkat wants me to bring John," you said as you read the message. "I guess I should... If that's OK with you," you added, still in a daze from the long fit you just had. "Could we go to the shooting range tomorrow instead of school?"

"That's fine," he replied with a small smile on his face, he was happy to see that you were finally coming back to your senses. You knew he'd let you go out shooting tomorrow, after all today was a rough day, aside from all the shit that just went down. "What time do you want to head out?"

"Ten?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not that any of you asked/are asking, but I had a nice 18th birthday on the 22nd. Here's a gift from me.


	5. Pre-Party Stuff

Your name is Roxy Lalonde and you have gotten all dolled up to see a cute gal at someone’s party. You’d never met the guy before, but he was “best bros” with your friend Karkat, so you didn’t see why you couldn’t go and get drunk and hang out with friends. After all, the weekends were the best time to enjoy yourself and hang out with a bunch of people you’d barely even met before, if you had even met them to begin with. Shortly following your beauty routine, you noticed Karkat fumbling to get his sweater on, which made you feel overly dressed up -but only slightly. This was a party, you could do whatever you wanted and wear whatever you wanted, so long as you were wearing something. 

Your friend raised a grumpy eyebrow at you, he was always tense in social situations. Always trying to show his dominance and leadership probably got really exhausting really fast. “Are you ready to go? I told Gamzee we’d get Faygo for him and get there early,” he stated almost like he had a grudge against Faygo. But that’s how Karkat was, and you had learned long ago to get used to it.

Straightening your top so the neck fell off your shoulder and your tank top covered your boobs, you shrugged your shoulders, “Sure, I’m ready to go now.” You wanted to lick your lip, a nervous tick from constant dry and chapped lips, but you realized you had lipstick on and decided against it. “Just let me get my shoes on.”

“Oh come on!” Karkat tried not to shout as he threw his arms in the air as if he were trying to flip a table over.

Your sister appeared in the doorway of your room with her big, fat wizarding book in her arm. “What are you guys doing?” She asked flatly, only half interested in the answer. A slightly younger girl appeared behind her holding a pink stuffed animal that looked like Jaspers but as a ghostly princess.

You recognized her as Nepeta. She had a giant crush on Karkat and absolutely loved cats, shipping, and some other stuff, but mainly cats and Karkat. Usually, she did weird things with her hair. One time you could have sworn she was cosplaying someone, but you weren’t too sure about that. “We’re going to Karkat’s friend’s party or something,” you said as you plopped onto your bed and laced up your rather stylish and dazzling shoes.

Rose stood still in your doorway for a while longer, watching you lace up you high tops or whatever they were called. And then she continued to watch as you laced up your second shoe. Her silence was sort of making you uneasy, it was like she was judging you. Even though she always did this, it always bothered you. For some reason you just couldn’t get over it no matter how hard you tried. “That girl is gonna be there isn’t she?” Your sister finally asked just as flatly as ever. “That one from your band thingy,” she elaborated.

“Yup!” Karkat reported. As you put both feet on the ground, he grabbed your arm and lead you to the door. “Now we need to go get Faygo,” he announced before parading you through the house, out the door, and to the bus stop.

-

Your name is John Egbert and you pulled on a hoodie last minute before walking out of Jade’s house. Her grandpa offered to take the two of you to Gamzee’s party after asking your dad who this “Game-zee fellow” “really was.” Your dad, on the other hand, was all for you going out to go hang out with his soon-to-be boss’s son. So it was arranged that Jade’s old man would take you to the downtown area so you could hang out with some friends and enjoy your night and maybe spend the night at someone else’s house. 

Jade was in some makeup and was wearing a skirt and nice shirt. A cross between formal and casual, but more casual than anything. Still it was all Jade, and it made you proud to be her friend considering she could easily pull anything off. She hopped into the front seat and you settled into the back seat as her grandpa situated himself in the driver’s seat. 

The details of the drive were nothing compared to the sight of Gamzee’s place. It was an old movie theater, renovated to be a house. From the outside, it looked like something being redone, but the style was going to stay from the looks of it. Curtains covered the ticket area and a board was taped over the speaker’s hole. The doors seemed to be original and maroon curtains covered them from the inside, bringing out the brass door handles both inside and out. The two of you excitedly waved goodbye to Jade’s grandpa and rushed inside to the hopefully heated building.

The snack area was still there and it looked like Mr. Makara made sure that place was always stocked with some of the best snackage. That or Gamzee wasted all his life trying to make fake snack packages, which you wouldn't be surprised if he did that either. A couple of redheads were waiting behind the counter, digging around in the refrigerator until the door practically slammed behind you. “Jade!” The girl with shoulder-length hair squealed and rushed toward your friend with open arms.

“Roxy! How are you?” Jade asked as she returned the bear hug she was receiving. 

Roxy finally loosened her monster grip on Jade and took a small step back. “I’ve been pretty good, just taking care of my horses and trying to stay warm,” she said with a really sparkling smile that made you understand why Jade had such a major crush on her. You almost envied her self-assurance. But this was Jade, she knew what she wanted and if she wanted Roxy Lalonde, that damn-fine looking redhead in front of her then she fucking wanted Roxy Lalonde. There were no ifs ands or buts. Thinking about it was just making you jealous, so you wandered off to the snack bar in attempt to not be a giant cock block to your best friend. After all, you were just a wing-man, if needed, and when Jade was involved you generally weren't needed. 

The red headed boy that Roxy was fussing at the fridge with was still there, staring at the lack of choices of soda pop before you approached the fridge as well. “Is there anything decent in there?” You asked curiously and leaned forward to check for yourself.

“You've got to be dicking me? Does it look like there’s anything remotely good enough to make your taste buds tingle and dance with joy? No, that right, no. That’s because there isn't, because there’s only fucking Faygo in here! In fact it will probably kill your mouth and eat your intestines for breakfast, or at the very best after dinner snack.” Based on what Jade had told you, you assumed you were staring Karkat right in the side of the head. “I should have just bought something more tasteful instead, that that shit Dave drinks, whatever that is,” Karkat continued to rant and ramble but it kind of just went through one ear and right out the other.

You searched some cabinets and found a box of Gushers. Immediately, you pulled them out and made yourself content by sitting on the glass counter top. Gushers, your lifeblood, were at this party. You were alive, and thanks to these Gushers in your hand, you would be alive all night long if you needed to be. Fuck yeah, Gushers were where it’s at. 

Gamzee came through a hidden entrance, and by hidden, you meant a doorway covered by those maroon drape-thingies in the dim-lit room with dark wallpaper. Holy shit was that graffiti on the wall? It looked like it. “Karkat, man, what’s taking you so long?” Gamzee asked with ease, his eyes glossy. More than likely, he was stoned. “Hey, holy hell, it’s that John-kid. How’d you get here, man? Lemme grab some Faygo and we can chill.” Oh, his voice was totally mellow, he was so stoned.

While he meandered about and around before finally making it to the fridge, you searched more cabinets to find a mini-fridge that had some regular brand pop in it. “Hey, Karkat, come here,” you said, calling over Gamzee’s ornery friend. Once the teen spotted what you wanted him to see, you quickly got out of the way and followed Gamzee when he motioned for you to join him upstairs. 

He took you past what was probably an old janitor’s closet and up a few other flights of stairs, past some doors and finally into a projector room. It seemed to be Gamzee’s room, but it also had a projector in it and some sound controls as well as a floor to ceiling, metal cabinet that probably contained movie reels. Most of the floor was covered in mattresses, and there were two bunk beds on either side of the projector that you only now noticed was running. “That up there, is Dave,” Gamzee said, pointing up to the top bunk nearest to the door. “Over there is Eridan and below is Feferi. And the dude probably sleeping in my bed is Equius. He finally got his chill on.” Eridan was on the top bunk on the other wall and on the bottom bunk, just below him, was Feferi.

Everyone, save for Equius, said their respective hello’s before getting comfortable again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took soo horribly long to update. 
> 
> I had the longest string of bullshit go down while moving my shit 2 and a half hours away for house changing while still living in the first house. Then my dad divorced my step mom. Unfortunately that stressed me so much I was sleeping all but 6 hours a day while doing online school and struggling to do enough to stay enrolled there and going to a tech school. Then some other stuff went down. Now I'm dealing with the triggering season of summer and moving into my own apartment and out of my dad's girlfriend's apartment. 
> 
> Also the original chapter that was supposed to be this one, got deleted. Whoopi! so I made this one which is far superior if I may say so myself :3
> 
> Headcanon additions were also collaborated with my good friend Swiftywolf. Visit some of her stories, they're awesome!
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this longer-than-usual chapter! Thanks for sticking with me!


	6. Mind Fuckery

Your name is John Egbert, mostly because you said so, but partially because it sounds better than Joan Egbert. Winter break was filled with parties at Gamzee’s and slumber parties at Roxy’s and Jade’s houses. It was packed with presents and praise from your sister. You and your family traveled to your cousins’ house in New York where it was freezing. You had meetings and you met new people and you made new friends. 

Jane talked about how she was going to take over Crocker Corporation from your Aunt Peixes while Meenah and Feferi argued about too many things leaving not enough quiet. You sat on the couch quietly, thinking how you might not own up to be anything or anyone while Jane was Heiress to a fucking empire. You watched the history channel with Meenah’s girlfriend, Aranea, who had already seen and bought every episode aired to date. As it turned out, Aranea had met Jake once at summer camp, but you didn’t try to figure out how that was possible. You were too busy trying to distract yourself from Jane being glorified by your aunt. And you didn’t want to know why she was the fucking Chosen One. You pretended not to care, and on the flight back to Washington, you hid yourself in your Pokemon games and music on your iPod and the occasional movie while in the airport.

While Jade went to England with her family for the last part of winter break, you left to hide out at Gamzee’s place. He had plenty of food, plenty of room, plenty of things to do, and he didn’t gush about Jane. Most of all, he didn’t mind that you were jealous in the least. You played video games and even watched some of the sock puppet films he made out of sheer boredom. Gamzee taught you how to play Xbox and how to work first person shooters like in Call of Duty, even though he didn’t play much. You munched on Gushers while he slammed Faygo. And you listened to his marvelous stories about all the people he had met and all the tricks they had showed him. He pointed out the graffiti on the walls and told you that Dave was possibly the best graffiti artist he’d met. And after hanging out for most of break, he asked you out. So you were dating and hanging out and you realized you were much happier.

Jane disappeared off to college. Jade came back from England with a tan. Instead of going to England, she had decided to go to Hawaii. She had olive skin like her brother now, and you assumed Roxy would be all over that with kisses and whatever else they did on their own time. You filled your friend in on your New Year’s day and she filled you in on her holiday. You settled back into your daily school routine quite quickly and slid into your new class schedules that came with a new quarter. 

In class, Jade sat beside you as always, right in the front by the teacher’s desk. You were done with English for the year, but your English teacher was now instructing your philosophy class. Rumor had it that most of the work was book work, essays, but a majority of all work was in groups. The bell rang, signalling the beginning of class. Most kids had their seating changed, and it wasn’t until halfway through the seating arrangement that a knock on the door was heard. Mr. Pensworth walked across the room to Ms. Errin’s desk with Gamzee in tow, explained something with an irritated expression, and left in a huff. You could just imagine that thought bubble full of the really agitated scribbles that you always saw in children’s shows hovering above his head. What a douche.

Your boyfriend was so stoned he probably couldn’t even tell what was going on, but he sat down right behind you like he did in most classes. Ms. Errin didn’t even attempt to correct his actions, though she did stare at him as she tried to decide what she wanted to do. It wasn’t like talking to him would make much of a difference at this point, so she continued figuring out her new seating chart for the quarter.

-

Your name is Roxy Lalonde and you were sitting at home doing your homework. Comfy, cozy were you wrapped up in a fleece blanket with hot chocolate nearby and your friend Dirk outside taking care of the horses in the barn. Rose sat behind you with her friend, Dave, lying on your bed playing some handheld game. The fireplace across from your bed was burning nice and hot, making your room the ideal place to stay. Your room seemed to be the first choice and favorite gathering place among those who had become your family. 

Even though Rose’s room also boasted a less-than modest fireplace. 

There was a short and soft rhythmic tapping on your door before it opened to reveal Dirk boasting a cup of hot chocolate with large marshmallows overtaking the surface. “Mind goin’ to the other room so I can have a chat with Sis?” he asked, his Southern accent thick as ever as he motioned to the door with his head. Your sister and his brother picked up their things and meandered out the door, closing it softly behind themselves. “Y’all right?” Dirk asked gently as he scooted onto your bed and set his cocoa down on the night stand. 

You rolled your eyes and plopped down onto your bed, sprawling out your arms in your cute, knit sweater. One of your few house cats hopped up onto your bed and started purring. There was no hiding from Dirk, he was so empathetic he could almost read minds. He could sense your feelings every damned time and his guesses were almost always spot on. “Why don't you just tell me if I’m alright,” you groaned, eyes closed. It did not help you any that you were always anxious around him, you had had a crush on him long before you had even met in person. Your’s and Rose’s mom had always spoken so highly of him and played matchmaker. It was practiced that you liked him, so much so that you weren't even sure if you did love him or if you thought of him as a brother.

That did not matter anyway, he never really thought about anyone like that. He wasn't much of interested in romantic relations. On top of that, there were more pressing matters on his mind. Right now, it was what was running through your head. “That wouldn't help you any, Roxy,” he stated with ease, “you know that.”

You groaned in frustration and rolled onto your stomach. “I don’t wanna think about it,” you practically whined. What you wanted to do was drink away those thoughts about how Jade may just want you for your body if she even really wanted you at all. You held a lot of assets, a lot of things she liked and needed, plus you could easily be described as a never-ending flow of money. While she was damn attractive and had a nice family, Jade never invited you over or asked to hang out at your house. When it came to her relationship with you, she wasn’t out going, but more conservative than she usually made herself look.

“Yer not gonna get anywhere if you don’t admit what yer thinkin’, Sis.” Yet another truthful statement from Dr. Phil -with hair. “Talk. Geddit outta yer system,” he urged gently before taking a marshmallow from his hot chocolate and eating it. You only waggled around in distress, making him sigh softly. “Roxy.”

You sat up and scowled back at him. “I don’t fucking wanna be used, Dirk. I’m tired of it! I’m tired of being strong and making decisions. There’s nothing I wanna do more than sit at my desk and draw cute kitties on livestream and have people ask about how I’m doing and how my day has gone -And you don’t count!” you blabbered before slamming your face into a pillow and softly screaming. 

He was probably tight lipped with his brows furrowed together, wanting to tell you that you weren’t being very nice. “Then why aren’t you doin’ that?”

Of course he couldn’t follow the dialogue you wanted him to say so you could let more steam out and be upset about being mean. He never said what you wanted him to say. “I don’t even know if that’s what I want to do,” you gripped into your pillow. 

“Maybe you should talk to her,” he retorted, trying to coax you back into the world without irritation. You huffed and sat up and just as you opened your mouth to say, “Talk to who?” (even though you very well knew who he was talking about) Dirk said, “And don’t you pretend you don’t know who I’m referring to.”

-

It would seem that your name is John Egbert yet again. Aren’t you always the same buck-toothed brunette? Or, would it be brunet? Fuck, the French influence on English was going to make your life harder in the long run. You came home from a study session at Gamzee’s to find an unfamiliar car in your driveway. A lady in unfitting slacks and a blouse was leaving from the front door, a big smile on her face. Her hair was down, which you thought would be very uncomfortable even in midwinter. A warm looking jacket was over her arm, and when she saw you her smile immediately faded and she scurried off to her car. “Must be some social worker,” you muttered to yourself, your breath turning into fog in front of you. You entered the house and took off your shoes saying, “Hey, Dad, who was that lady that just left?”

As it turned out, that woman was your father’s new girlfriend, Donna. She worked with your dad but in a different area and they usually shared a lunch break. Dad was head over heels for her, but you had a bad feeling.


End file.
